All In The Family: Business Leaders Share Advice On Working With Relatives

By Rhett Power, Forbes

Entrepreneurs and small business owners have been wrestling with the idea of working with family for ages. It may seem like it initially, but hiring a family member isn’t necessarily the easiest path to take. Sure, your sister or your nephew might be a known commodity, and it probably makes the interview process a little less awkward, but there are some downsides to hiring relatives as well.

For all of the examples of successful

family businesses such as Massachusetts-based Chex Finer Foods, there are feuding sibling pairs like the Kellogg brothers. As it turns out, there are a lot of things to consider before partnering with a sibling or hiring a family member.

Blood Is Thicker Than Water

Avidan Milevsky, associate professor of psychology at Ariel University and executive director of the Family Institute in Israel, points out that sibling dynamics can easily make or break a family business, and matters involving money are notorious for cultivating destructive sibling dynamics. However, through his research, he’s found that siblings can also improve the chances that a family business is successful if they have a close bond. As long as siblings or other family members each have their own niche, things are likely to function smoothly. It’s when skill sets overlap that rivalry is likely to become a problem.

In honor of National Siblings Day this month, I spoke with numerous business leaders who are well-equipped to give advice on going into business with your family. Whether you’re working with a sibling, having your children lend a hand, or taking over a leadership role from an older family member, the perspective of these leaders could help you combat the challenges you face.

1. Alison Gutterman, President and CEO of Jelmar

Gutterman emphasizes that it’s importance for the next generation of family leaders to earn their spot in the company. When Gutterman began working at Jelmar, a cleaning products manufacturer, she did so without a title or even a desk. Instead of being given these things because she was her father’s daughter, she had to earn them. She explains, “My father and I have very different personalities and come from different generations. He felt that I had to overtake him to take over the family business, and while I am competitive, I am not that competitive. I believed and believe today that the reason I was ready for additional leadership roles, leading to this one, was because I earned them.”

After working her way into leadership roles, Gutterman was able to build upon the foundation her father built, modernizing the business to include more technology and data. She says the family and small-business dynamic of the company has meant less red tape and more room to take innovative risks. Gutterman also suggests finding a mentor outside of your company who can provide a different perspective. Some organizations even have advisory groups specifically for family businesses, where people experiencing similar challenges can convene.

2. Kelly Vlahakis-Hanks, President and CEO of Earth Friendly Products

For Vlahakis-Hanks, Earth Friendly Products, the maker of ECOS environmentally friendly cleaners, couldn’t have seen the success it has without maintaining the vision her father brought to the business when he founded it in 1967: creating products that are safer for people, the earth, and pets. She elaborates, “Our company was founded on the values of Greek culture. Greece was my father’s homeland, and he was raised with a reverence for the importance of family, health, and balance with the natural world. By creating our products based on those values, we’ve reached new heights of sustainability and now share our ECOS cleaners with millions of consumers who care about their health and the health of our planet.”

In an industry where multinational corporations and enormous marketing budgets dominate, focusing on values and vision and creating a corporate culture that nourishes them are what have made Earth Friendly Products successful. Vlahakis-Hanks advises other family-run business leaders to never forget the values and vision their company was founded on and to pass them on to the next generation of the family.

3. Steve Fleming, Co-CEO of Kick4Life F.C.

A shared vision was crucial for Steve Fleming and his brother Pete, who co-founded Kick4Life, a professional soccer club in Lesotho with a social mission. The organization is also a registered charity with offices in the U.K., Luxembourg, and the U.S and has grown to employ more than 60 people. Given the variety Kick4Life has incorporated into its operations — including charitable projects, a restaurant, and a football club — Steve believes that the brothers’ shared vision has been key to their success.

He observes, “Challenges have come when we have had different ideas about the direction of the organization, and it has been necessary to work through these to ensure our ideas are aligned. It has also helped to have clearly defined roles and responsibilities, and for us to respectively focus on our different strengths, which have complemented each other.” Fleming says regular communication has been imperative as well, noting that it’s important to bring up concerns early on before they develop into a more serious issue or contention.

4. Lee Rhodes, Founder of glassybaby

Family played a key role when Rhodes founded glassybaby, which sells hand-blown votives and drinking glasses, then donates 10 percent of pretax revenue to hundreds of different charities. For a company where support is a founding principle, working as a family is a natural fit. Rhodes remembers her children helping to make stickers and her high school-aged son writing marketing materials.

She points out that bringing family members into a business doesn’t necessarily change relationships, as some may think. She explains, “People think they can hire their sibling or whoever and it’s going to change their relationship, but I’ve found that’s absolutely not the case. However many years of history you have together will overpower the relationship in the workplace.” Provided you have a supportive family, you’ll be able to count on them to help support your business operations. Rhodes, a three-time cancer survivor, also notes the important role camaraderie plays in any cause, from fighting cancer to picking up slack and odd jobs in a small business.

5. Matthew Toren, Co-Founder of Coinzy

According to Toren, trust can be a big advantage in a family business, but he admits that it isn’t necessarily the case in all families. “It’s vital to have an unlimited amount of trust for each other. It’s easy to pick apart people if you don’t trust them, but we have that trust which makes it work. I know some family members are so different and can argue all the time,” Toren acknowledges. “Be deliberate about spending time with each other and showing vulnerability with each other so you feel there’s a level of authenticity with your relationship.”

In addition to trust, a shared passion makes things easier. For the Toren brothers, that passion is educating people on bitcoin and the world of cryptocurrencies. A shared passion allows them to work toward shared goals as well.

6. Carl Godlove, Executive and Leadership Coach at Godlove Group LLC

Godlove inherited his father-in-law’s business after his death and took over as chairman and CEO. Without its former leader, the business had started to decline, but Godlove managed to turn it around and drive a national expansion. What he wasn’t able to do was unify the family.

He recalls, “My challenge was leading this large family, and I ultimately failed at that. In retrospect, I never claimed that role. It was an epic blind spot. A parent can have a unifying influence that’s impossible to recreate without help. Founders who don’t effectively usher in the next generation aren’t likely to leave healthy family legacies.” Having experienced the power of coaching late in his tenure, Godlove advises people in similarly difficult positions to hire a coach who’s been through it before.

Hiring relatives or partnering with a family member on a business venture isn’t a decision to take lightly. It can quickly blur the lines between personal time and work hours, and it can also make it harder to enforce a chain of authority. Still, given the right family dynamics, it offers numerous advantages: a greater degree of trust and honesty, the reliability of someone who’s invested in his or her own success and yours, and a close bond that can survive the wild ups and downs often associated with running a business.